Let’s face it: NO one likes the feeling of finding out that a person you’ve been dating for a while is just not THAT into you.
The main reason the blow is so hard is because your ego will tell you that you’re such a great person, there’s no WAY somebody could possibly NOT like you, especially if they’ve gotten a chance to know you and have been with you for a while.
As a result, when things start going downhill in a relationship, many people will turn a blind eye to any red flags. Instead of noticing small things the other person is doing that indicates a waning interest, they’ll make up excuses for their “strange” behavior:
“She didn’t return my phone call? She must be really busy.” (Really? ‘Cause she used to return them all the time…)
“He cancelled our date at the last minute again?!? Hmmm… must just be bad timing.” (Really? Each time you schedule a date now it’s bad timing?)
“She’s kissing on my best friend?? Oh wait, it might just be CPR.” (Really?… yeah, that’s just a lie.)
All these denials are allegedly made to avoid pain. However, what usually ends up happening in the long run is that the person feels WORSE because they somehow weren’t able to recognize these signs early on. Worse, they feel as though they were being strung along by a person who, they discover, hasn’t liked them for weeks or even MONTHS.
For those people who ARE able to recognize early on what all these signals mean, the pain is significantly lessened.
Think about it – which outcome would you rather have:
(A) You go out with someone for 2 months and things seem to be going great. Then, the other person starts calling you less. Then, less of your date offers are being accepted, and when you do go out with the other person they seem distant or preoccupied on their phone. Then, the other person becomes less and less touchy-feely with you. Finally, your phone calls stop being accepted. Despite this, you STILL don’t manage to get the hint that this other person doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. You feel sad, and continue to try to figure out how to make this person want to talk to you again – a pointless excercise, but one so many people do on a daily basis.
(B) You go out with someone for 2 months and things seem to be going great. Then, the other person starts calling you less. Then, you call the person twice to ask them out on dates, and they reject both offers without giving a counter-offer. You recognize this as lowered interest, and stop trying to call her. Your ego is bruised for 2 days; on the 3rd day, you wake up and say “oh well – on to the next one!”
Most importantly, you’re able to move on quicker because you figure just because one person lost interest doesn’t mean the next one will.
Ah, being able to read signals that a person you’re dating just isn’t THAT into you… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!
Have your own idea for something to be thankful for? Email 1001ThingsToBeThankfulFor@Gmail.com!