#0040: Having Friends of the Opposite Sex

Males and females are the only two genders of the human race (unless you count hermaphrodites which are a mixture of both).

It stands to reason, then, that the only options for human friends will either be men or women.  Most people tend to feel the same way I used to: that men and women are only meant to be together socially for the purposes of (a) mating or (b) seeing if a relationship is possible.  Furthermore, from a man’s perspective, we aren’t intentionally going out and trying to meet new women just to become friends with them.  “If I’m getting along so well with a woman, we should be doing it” is the general feeling, and to a certain extent that viewpoint is valid.

With that said, it is a VERY VALUABLE THING to have friends in your life that are of the opposite sex. 

At first, you may not believe so.  You may think your significant other shouldn’t have any other opposite sex friends besides you, for fears that they might try to leave you for one of them.  And yes, there are stories of this type of thing happening.

However, for the sake of your own sanity, you may want to consider changing your perspective.  Here are a few reasons why:

1. AT SOME POINT IN TIME YOU WILL NEED A BREAK FROM YOUR PARTNER.

Yes, you’re in love and you enjoy being together.  However, that same person is going to annoy you from time to time, and you’re going to want someone to babysit them for a while so you can get a break from them.  If the majority of your partner’s friends are of the opposite sex, so what?  You’re not going to care about all that when they try to tell you the same story about some part of their life that you’ve heard at least 7 times already – let them go tell it to one of their other friends for a while so you won’t be so annoyed!

2. IT HELPS TO HAVE SOMEONE AROUND WHO CAN EXPLAIN TO YOUR PARTNER WHY YOU THINK/ACT THE WAY THEY DO.

You’re a woman.  You’ve asked your man to take your car in to get inspected.  You asked him FIVE DAYS AGO.  He finally gets it done, but you’re upset.  You try to explain to him WHY you’re upset, but he’s just not getting it.

If you’re the only woman who’s currently around him, he might not understand why, from a woman’s perspective, you’re so upset – he might just assume it’s a “you” issue vs. a gender issue.  However, if he has some girls he considers as “just friends” in his life, when he brings the issue up to them they will be able to help him better see WHY it bugged you.  In other words, his girl friends are actually helping him to KEEP THE PEACE in the relationship.

3. IF YOU GET TO KNOW THEIR OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDS, THEY ARE LESS LIKELY TO WANT TO TAKE YOUR PARTNER FROM YOU

I know, you may read that and think: “But wait – won’t making them my friend cause me to let my guard down and be less suspecting should my partner decide to cheat on me with that person?”

Again, there ARE stories of that type of thing happen.  However, what happens more often is that when a person becomes invested into another person’s life, they are actually LESS likely to want to bring harm to that person.

Therefore, if you’re a guy and your woman has a male friend in her life, you being jealous of him is NOT going to help the situation – if anything, it’ll make her question why you’re so jealous and cause her to want to explore the situation with her “friend” further.

However, if you are able to accept this person that’s in your woman’s life platonically, he will more than likely want to become friends with you and keep the peace by AVOIDING trying to do anything with her.

Ah, having friends of the opposite sex… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

Have your own idea for something to be thankful for? Email 1001ThingsToBeThankfulFor@Gmail.com!

 

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One Response to #0040: Having Friends of the Opposite Sex

  1. dudeship says:

    I am thankful for free speech, because I have a few objections to your post here : )

    I’ll just go point by point.

    1. AT SOME POINT IN TIME YOU WILL NEED A BREAK FROM YOUR PARTNER.

    -True. They can be annoying from time to time. That is why we have same gendered friends. If you start to get you emotional needs filled from somewhere else, that’s how affairs start. There are some exceptions, such as if the opposite gendered person is friends with both people in the committed relationship equally.

    2.IT HELPS TO HAVE SOMEONE AROUND WHO CAN EXPLAIN TO YOUR PARTNER WHY YOU THINK/ACT THE WAY THEY DO.

    -Again, telling someone of the opposite sex secrets leads to affairs. Telling them about problems in the relationship is widely regarded as something that leads down a bad road. Affairs can be physical or emotional or both.

    3.IF YOU GET TO KNOW THEIR OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDS, THEY ARE LESS LIKELY TO WANT TO TAKE YOUR PARTNER FROM YOU

    – Less likely?!?!?!?!?!?! How about 0% likely? That’s the kind of people I’d want my significant other hanging around with… not people who are somewhere between likely and less likely…

    Clearly… I take a different approach on this. A group of buddies and I just released a book that speaks extensively on this topic. Check it out if you want to see where we’re coming from … http://menandwomencantbefriends.wordpress.com/

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