#0056: Internal Muscles that Help Prevent You from Peeing/Crapping on Yourself

You’re on a road trip somewhere in the midwest, driving on highways where the roads are long and the number of miles between exits are very, very far apart.

You just finished guzzling down a 32 oz. cup of Sunkist orange soda.  About 15 minutes later the soda has hit your bladder, and you have to go pee.  Unfortunately, you just passed a highway exit about 2 minutes ago… and the next exit isn’t for 16 miles.

Oh sure, you COULD just stop on the side of the road and relieve yourself… but on this particular stretch of road there’s nothing but farmland, meaning there are no trees to help you cover your naughty bits from being seen by passer-bys.  Also, the fine for public urination in these parts is $500.

What is a person to do?

Well, the healthiest thing to do would be to say “screw it” and start peeing on yourself.  But that doesn’t make it the most sanitary option, and I’m sure the other people riding in the car with you wouldn’t be too thrilled about the smell.

The next best option? HOLD IT IN!

That’s right, buddy – it’s time to use your body’s sphincter to hold that urine in!  The sphincter acts like the body’s own personal hold-and-release valve: when relaxed, it allows things like urine and feces to exit our bodies, and when it’s tightened it holds these items in.

Were it not for the sphincter muscle, there’s no way you’d be able to hold your pee for the next 16 miles of highway road.  Now, instead of embarrassing yourself, you can continue to drive calmly until the next exit, then drive happily over to that exit’s nearest gas station and relieve yourself. (Unless, of course, that exit has no gas stations or restaurants near it – at that point, you may just have to pee out in the open).

Oh yeah, WARNING: while the sphincter muscle is in place for usage in instances such as the ones described above, it’s still a good idea to try to go whenever the feeling occurs.  Holding your pee/feces too often, for too long, can result in kidney infections, a weakening of the sphincter and other gross things I care not to get into.

Ah, internal muscles that help prevent you from peeing/crapping on yourself… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

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