What would we do without the clothing iron?
Imagine how we would look were it not for the ability to iron our clothing. People would walk the streets in unwrinkled shirts, making them look like little kids who can’t quite dress themselves. Pants wouldn’t be able to get creased and would look and sloppy.
Nations would collapse under chaotic rule. A war would break out between people who were able to afford dryers (thus being able to get MOST of the wrinkles out of their clothing) and those who could not. Guys wouldn’t be able to attract girls with their neatly pressed outfits, and mating would cease to exist. People would go blind at the site of such messy clothing and, feeling their life to be over, would jump off cliffs into piles of sharp, wrinkly fabric.
So, so, sad…
But, since clothing irons exists, we are able to make our clothes look neatly pressed, be fashionably dressed, and look good enough to impress!
Ah, the clothing iron… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!
– Aaron P. Taylor