#0115: Chuck Norris Jokes

I don’t know when this trend started, but whoever first came up with the idea of making one-liner jokes about Chuck Norris was GENIUS.

If you don’t know who Chuck Norris is, you must have been living in a cave (previously inhabited by a bear, which Chuck Norris fought and beat up – with his BARE HANDS!).  He’s a red-haired white guy who knows karate, and used to have a show on called “Walker, Texas Ranger.” The show, which starred Norris as a cowboy cop or something, was campy and had lots of bad dialog, but nonetheless it catapulted him into the entertainment world.

The show’s been off the air for a while, but somehow, between the height of the show’s popularity and now, people decided to start making jokes that incorporate just how “tough” Chuck Norris is into the punch line.  The jokes are usually one-liners, and they’re funny as heck.  If you want to brighten up your day, you can go to a litany of online websites and find list after list of funny Chuck Norris jokes.

And now, for your laughing pleasure, here are 10 of my favorite Chuck Norris jokes:

10. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.  Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

9. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.  His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.

8.  When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

7. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

6. There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris.  It was later changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

5. Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired.

4. There is no theory of evolution.  Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

3. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: it wouldn’t take crap from anybody.

2. When Chuck Norris looks at himself in the mirror, there is no reflection.  There can only be one Chuck Norris.

And finally, my personal favorite…

1. The only way to cure cancer is with Chuck Norris’ tears.  Unfortunately, Chuck Norris never cries.

Ah, Chuck Norris jokes… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!  (For more hilarious Chuck Norris jokes, go to www.ChuckNorrisFacts.com!)

– Aaron P. Taylor
1001thingstobethankfulfor@gmail.com

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