#0137: Lesbian Dance Clubs

You may be looking at the heading of today’s blog and asking yourself a question: “Why would a straight man be thankful for a location where girls go to dance with other girls??”

And if you ARE asking that question, clearly you’ve never experienced the joy of being in a surrounding where beautiful women are dancing all around you, bumping and grinding against each other to some pretty kick-ass music.

But let’s go down the list of who should be thankful for these clubs and why:

LESBIAN WOMEN

This one’s pretty obvious.  If you’re a lesbian, what better place to find another girl who is more assured to be gay, as opposed to a club where the goers are mostly straight and you have to try to pick your “teammate” out of a crowd?

STRAIGHT WOMEN

Women often complain about having guys ogle them at the club, or sometimes get annoyed when a random guy comes out of nowhere and starts grinding on their behind.  If you ladies ever need a vacation from this kind of activity, go to a Lesbian dance club one night.  There aren’t a whole lot of straight guys there, and the women that are there are usually more thoughtful in their approach to you should they want to dance (i.e. they’ll either step in front of you so you’ll know they are interested in you, or they’ll ask you to dance vs. grabbing at your butt w/o permission), meaning you have the option of rejecting them before they’re already sweating all over you.

GAY MEN

Um… okay, I haven’t quite figured out this one yet…

STRAIGHT MEN

Let’s face it, guys: there are a LOT of songs out there that are fun to dance to.  Good beat, excellent voice… but it turns out to be a Lady Gaga or Beyonce song.

When these songs come on at most clubs, guys are forced to either stand there and act like they don’t like the song, or hum it to themselves without singing it aloud.  Face it – no heterosexual guy looks manly singing “Single Ladies” in a crowd of people.

But, should you feel the need to be able to dance to these types of songs in public, a Lesbian dance club is the perfect place to do it.  Think about it:

  • The majority of the women there are gay, so it doesn’t matter what they think of you for dancing to these songs – you don’t have a shot with them anyway!
  • You can sing along, and no one is going to call you “queer” for doing so (especially in a place where that word is taken as an insult)
  • You don’t have to stop dancing just because the words to the song, while catchy, will make you sound like you’re talking about hitting on (or breaking up with) a dude

Aside from all that stuff, you also have to remember: STRAIGHT WOMEN ALSO GO TO THESE CLUBS.  Because it’s a Lesbian club, there is less competition for you to have to fight through.  Chances are, these women who would normally have the “f–k off” sign plastered on their forehead have their guards down, thus actually making it EASIER to approach them and hit it off.

Betcha never thought of that last one, huh?

All I know is, I got invited to go to one of these clubs last weekend, and not only had girls staring at me (partially due to my killer dance moves), but in many cases they were giving me the “please take me home” eyes and were actually coming up to ME to MAKE ME dance with them. 

Did I mention that getting action from chicks at one of these clubs is also a HUGE boost for the male ego? Good, good times, people…

Ah, Lesbian dance clubs… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

– Aaron P. Taylor

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