#0145: The Death of Osama bin Laden

By now everyone who hasn’t been asleep for the last 6 hours has heard the news: Osama bin Laden, the man responsible for the attacks on the World Trade Center back on September 11, 2001, was finally killed by U.S. troops in Pakistan, where he was hiding out in a mansion. 

Much credit has to go to the troops on the ground who were able to trap him inside by fire, then go in and get the job done. It’s been a long 10 years and it took many operations, careful planning, allying with allies that weren’t always so welcoming to us, percision and swiftness.

Most importantly, though, it took a competent leader to command the troops on when to move in. A leader who, after listening to months/weeks of intel from his army, had to choose the precise moment to give his men the “okay” to attack.

And that man, my friends, was none other than President Barack Hussein Obama.

Because of him and the brave men and women serving our country overseas, this threat was taken down in a swift manner that saw NONE of our troops get killed in the process. It is a testement to both the great leadership of this country and the training provided by our military that an operation of such high magnitude went off, in the end, without a hitch.

Back when George Bush Jr. was President, I made a prediction that he would win a second term.  I didn’t think he necessarily deserved it, nor did I (or many other people for that matter) think he was doing that good of a job. However, it was during his first term that another dangerous threat to the U.S. – Sadaam Hussein – was captured. At that moment, I knew there’d be no chance he could lose.

With the killing of Osama, President Obama has all but secured his second term in office.  The election is 18 months away, and the immediate effect of his actions today will be less then than they are now.

However, just the fact that he was able to keep a MAJOR campaign promise (he said he’d kill Osama while on the campaign trail), one that was so important and dear to the hearts of all Americans who lived through the 9/11 time period (and even moreso for those whose relatives and friends didn’t survive the attacks) is going to make voters place him back into the White House for 4 more years.

And I, for one, am VERY happy about that. It means we get to have a competent Black man in office for a few more years, which is definitely not a BAD thing. Plus, everytime stuff like this happens, sales of my song – “Obama Milli Remix” – go up in iTunes. So thank you, Mr. President, for helping this country’s morale today AND for increasing the money in my pocket at the same time!

Ah, the death of Osama bin Laden… now THAT’s something to be thankful for!!

-Aaron P. Taylor

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#0144: Bendable Plastic Medical Needles

The worst part about getting your blood drawn at the hospital is the needle.  Aside from the pain that arises from the needle piercing your skin, it can also be a hindrance to your mobility if they stick it near a bendable area of your body.

If the doctor sticks it near the parts of your arms or legs that bend, you can be in for a whole world of hurt if you move the wrong way. Imagine the fun you’ll have when you move too quickly and rip open a blood vessel or artery – you’ll be sputtering out blood everywhere! How fun is THAT?!?

Someone in the medical field must have figured this out at some point, ’cause they decided to do something about it. The result?

BENDABLE NEEDLES!

These days, you no longer have to worry about damaging any major veins when the doctor has to stick a needle in you to wear all day. Instead of keeping a metal needle in you, they now have plastic, bendable needles that are flexible enough to allow a wide range of movement. You can bend your arm or leg while the needle is stuck in you, and be perfectly fine.

So yeah, they still haven’t figure out how to NOT feel pain when the needle is first being inserted, but at least they made sure you won’t feel pain moving around once its in there!

Ah, bendable plastic medical needles… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

– Aaron P. Taylor

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#0143: Being Able to Get Rid of Furniture By Putting It Out on the Curb

I recently moved out of my old apartment into a new one – and you know what that means: lots of things to pack up, and even more things to throw away.

One of the biggest hassles of moving occurs when having to throw out furniture.  In my case, I had a HUGE TV stand, sofa, mattress and futon bed frame to throw out. Unfortunately, I also had a lot of smaller items to trash, and by the time I threw most of those things out there was hardly any room left in the complex’s trash dumpster to hold the furniture.

Worse still, our landlord informed us that if I was to simply place the items next to the dumpster, the fine for it would be taken out of the returning deposit money – and that’s something I definitely did NOT want to happen!!

But then I remembered: over the course of the year-and-5-months I lived there, I had seen many people place all kinds of furniture out in front of their buildings near (or on) the sidewalk.  Everything from tables, chairs, sofas, mattresses, old computers, etc. – you name it, I had seen it on the curb at some point.

Amazingly, these items would be there for days at a time, and then POOF! – one day I’d go outside, and the item wouldn’t be there anymore!

Now, I’m not one for littering, and it seemed kinda risky at first (like, what if the cops see me just leaving furniture outside? Would they fine me for it? Could I get a ticket? Would environmentalists come after me for destroying the Earth?!?).  But hey, what else could I do? I didn’t have a truck to move the furniture to a local dump, nor did I have any idea where one was; I didn’t want to get fined; and I was pretty confident that someone would come and pick the stuff up, be it a person in need of said items or the trash collectors next time they were in the area.

So, that’s what I did – I moved the table stand, mattress, and sofa outside the building, to the faaaaaar corner of the street… then ran away like a bat out of heck!

This past week, I had to stop by my old apartment to see if I had any left over mail. Lo and behold: the TV stand and the mattress were both gone, and the sofa… um… well, the sofa had a homeless person on it eating a sandwich.  Yeaaaah… at least it was getting used!

Ah, being able to get rid of furniture by putting it on the curb – now THAT’s something to be thankful for!

-Aaron P. Taylor

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#0142: Snuggies!!


Above: My music video for “Teach Me How to Snuggie!” Available on iTunes – click HERE!

Snuggies!  How GREAT are they??  They’re warm like a blanket and have sleeves like a shirt! U can wear them around your house when it’s cold, and still be able to do things with your arms and hands, like hug people, eat food, throw a tennis ball, or put lotion on your face!

Not only that, but you can even use them OUTSIDE of your house! I’ve worn a Snuggie while driving a car, jogging, eating at iHOP, and doing yoga! Plus, I’ve used it for unconventional stuff like jump-roping, washing my car, a protective weapon, and a bath towel!

No, really, I have – check out the video I made above called “Teach Me How to Snuggie!” They are quite the multi-functional device if you put your mind to it!

Ah, Snuggies… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

– Aaron P. Taylor

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#0141: Being Told by Someone How Sexy You Look

Everyone on the planet wants the feeling that they look good enough, on some level, to be desired by someone else. You can be as self-confident about your looks as you want, but the impact a simple statement like “hey, you look sexy” from another person can have on one’s ego is HUGE.

I was at work one day when a lady came in to get something.  As she was walking out, she stopped and looked at me.  The following conversation then took place:

Her: “Hey there, I just wanted to tell you: you look sexy with that beard. (I recently made the decision to grow it out and keep it.)”

Me: “Uh… (not knowing how to respond).”

Her: “Yeah, it makes you look older, more mature.  You look like one of those guys I’ve seen modeling stuff in clothing catalogs.”

Me: “Really?”

Her: “Yeah, yeah, you should keep it, it looks really sexy on you.”

Me: “Well, thank you very much!”

Now granted, the lady in question wasn’t someone I would try to get with (she was a little bit older and just not my type – pretty, but not my type). Still, just the fact that someone thought enough about my looks to comment on how hot they thought I was gave me the boost I needed to feel good about myself for at least a week!

Ah, being told by someone how sexy you look… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

– Aaron P. Taylor

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#0140: The Feeling of Happiness One Gets from Receiving – and Giving – Christmas Gifts

Ah, Christmas – the day when people all over the world get to wake up, run downstairs and open up the gifts that people got for them.

Opening up gifts is one of the best feelings in the world.  And really, it’s not even about the gifts themselves.  Sure, it feels good when you ask for something and another person actually gets you the thing you asked for.  But that joy is usually short-lived – after a few months, chances are you probably won’t even be using the thing the person got you.

What feels better is what the gift represents: that someone in your life cared enough about you to go out and seek out something for you that would put a smile on your face come Christmas morning.

To that end, not only does receiving gifts feel good, but so does the feeling of being able to give them out as well.  Showing people you care about them makes you feel just as good as the other person does when they realize the importance they hold in your lives.  Being able to put smiles on other people’s faces can actually make YOU have as big of a smile – if not bigger – than the one you have from receiving things.

So, on this wonderful Christmas day, be sure to do all you can to be the giver AND receiver of happiness.  It will definitely make your world seem that much brighter! 🙂

Ah, the feeling of happiness one gets from receiving – and giving – Christmas gifts… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

– Aaron P. Taylor

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#0139: The Myth of Santa Claus

Tomorrow is Christmas, which means millions of children will spend this evening anticipating what gifts they will be receiving from “Santa Claus” come Christmas morning.

Ah, yes, Santa Claus: that old-looking white man from the North Pole who travels around the world from house to house in a single night to deliver toys to all the good little boys and girls. (I’m sure if I tried doing that I’d be charged for breaking and entering, but that’s beside the point…)

Far be it from me to be a Grinch and spoil the realness of Santa’s existence.  What I WILL say, though, is that this myth has to be one of the BEST things someone ever came up with!

Why, you ask? As the story goes, in order for Santa to deliver presents to a child, they must have been “good” for most of the year.  Granted, kids will be kids, meaning they usually spend the majority of the year fighting with their siblings, crying for random reasons, and doing things to get on their parents’ nerves.

BUT… right around the time that Thanksgiving hits, they begin to get conscious of the upcoming Christmas holiday.  And, if they’re familiar with the “rules” of Santa’s gift-giving, they understand that they won’t get squat unless they start acting good, even if it IS the last minute.

As a result, even the baddest of bad kids will usually become much easier to deal with.  Sure, it may not be for the purest of reasons – they’re only doing it to get something back in return – but parents don’t really give a flying hoot as to WHY their kids want to be less of a pain in the butt.  They’re just happy their kid(s) are suddenly easier to deal with, even if it’s only for one month out the year!

So, kudos to whoever “discovered” Santa Claus and made him one of the focal points of the Christmas holiday.  Sure, they say that “Jesus is the reason for the season,” but Santa Claus is the reason your kids are being calmer than usual!

Ah, the myth of Santa Claus… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

– Aaron P. Taylor

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#0138: When There’s a Break in the Storm At The Same Time You Need to Go Somewhere

Rainy days can be quite a drag, especially if you have errands to run, jobs to go to, and nookie you need to get but can’t because you’re being c-blocked by bad driving conditions.

Sometimes rainy days can seem to go on forever and ever.  Yet even the longest storms tend to have a few lull periods where the rain dies down and it’s actually dry, be it for a few minutes or a couple of hours.

The best time for this to happen? Right around the same time that you’re set to leave your house to do something.  Sure, you may not have known that the rain was going to die down for a while around the time of your necessary trip outside…

…but how great is it when, upon that time arriving, the heavens have decided to stop with the waterworks for a while, thus giving you plenty of time to do what you need to do WITHOUT GETTING ALL WET!

I find that this happens quite often.  For example: yesterday at work, I looked outside the window and saw it pouring down rain… for SIX HOURS!

Lo and behold: when it was time for me to walk to the bus stop, the rain had VANISHED.  And it stayed away from the time I left my job until I got back to my apartment – a few minutes after I got home, BOOM! The rain started up again!

At that point, though, I didn’t care. Why? Because I had no where else to go, and I had already gotten home in relatively dry weather!

Ah, when there’s a break in the storm at the same time you need to go somewhere… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

– Aaron P. Taylor

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#0137: Lesbian Dance Clubs

You may be looking at the heading of today’s blog and asking yourself a question: “Why would a straight man be thankful for a location where girls go to dance with other girls??”

And if you ARE asking that question, clearly you’ve never experienced the joy of being in a surrounding where beautiful women are dancing all around you, bumping and grinding against each other to some pretty kick-ass music.

But let’s go down the list of who should be thankful for these clubs and why:

LESBIAN WOMEN

This one’s pretty obvious.  If you’re a lesbian, what better place to find another girl who is more assured to be gay, as opposed to a club where the goers are mostly straight and you have to try to pick your “teammate” out of a crowd?

STRAIGHT WOMEN

Women often complain about having guys ogle them at the club, or sometimes get annoyed when a random guy comes out of nowhere and starts grinding on their behind.  If you ladies ever need a vacation from this kind of activity, go to a Lesbian dance club one night.  There aren’t a whole lot of straight guys there, and the women that are there are usually more thoughtful in their approach to you should they want to dance (i.e. they’ll either step in front of you so you’ll know they are interested in you, or they’ll ask you to dance vs. grabbing at your butt w/o permission), meaning you have the option of rejecting them before they’re already sweating all over you.

GAY MEN

Um… okay, I haven’t quite figured out this one yet…

STRAIGHT MEN

Let’s face it, guys: there are a LOT of songs out there that are fun to dance to.  Good beat, excellent voice… but it turns out to be a Lady Gaga or Beyonce song.

When these songs come on at most clubs, guys are forced to either stand there and act like they don’t like the song, or hum it to themselves without singing it aloud.  Face it – no heterosexual guy looks manly singing “Single Ladies” in a crowd of people.

But, should you feel the need to be able to dance to these types of songs in public, a Lesbian dance club is the perfect place to do it.  Think about it:

  • The majority of the women there are gay, so it doesn’t matter what they think of you for dancing to these songs – you don’t have a shot with them anyway!
  • You can sing along, and no one is going to call you “queer” for doing so (especially in a place where that word is taken as an insult)
  • You don’t have to stop dancing just because the words to the song, while catchy, will make you sound like you’re talking about hitting on (or breaking up with) a dude

Aside from all that stuff, you also have to remember: STRAIGHT WOMEN ALSO GO TO THESE CLUBS.  Because it’s a Lesbian club, there is less competition for you to have to fight through.  Chances are, these women who would normally have the “f–k off” sign plastered on their forehead have their guards down, thus actually making it EASIER to approach them and hit it off.

Betcha never thought of that last one, huh?

All I know is, I got invited to go to one of these clubs last weekend, and not only had girls staring at me (partially due to my killer dance moves), but in many cases they were giving me the “please take me home” eyes and were actually coming up to ME to MAKE ME dance with them. 

Did I mention that getting action from chicks at one of these clubs is also a HUGE boost for the male ego? Good, good times, people…

Ah, Lesbian dance clubs… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

– Aaron P. Taylor

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#0136: Finding Free Parking in the City on a Busy Night

You know what’s absolutely great? When you’re able to drive downtown on a busy night, and manage to find a free parking spot that hasn’t been taken!

On Sunday night, me and a friend got invited to go to a club located in downtown Los Angeles.  Although we jumped at the chance to go, we knew in advance there could be one small little hiccup: we’d have to pay for parking.

And parking fees in this city are no joke.  Depending on the night, you could be paying anywhere from $5 to $20 to park in an actual lot.  Using a spot on the street that has a parking meter is usually friendlier to one’s wallet (depending on how long you plan to park in one place), but most of those spots are usually taken.

Sure enough, when we got to the club, we spent 10 minutes driving around looking for a place to park.  The lots in the area were only about $10 and, while I didn’t want to pay it, it seemed like an okay amount to pay, especially considering we’d be getting into the club for free.

But then, my friend saw it: a metered parking spot on the side of the street that someone had just left… and no one was waiting to get it!

At the time, we were on the other side of the road, and there were cars coming in the opposite direction that could easily have gotten the spot before me.  Nevertheless, I managed to make a U-turn when the car traffic had slowed down, and parked right where the meter was.

Then, just as I was about to put money in the meter, I looked up and saw the sign that everyone in the world loves to see downtown:

“FREE PARKING ON SUNDAYS”

YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!! Not only did I find a parking spot, but it was FREE!!! I ended up not having to spend a single dime!

But really, any day of the week where you can drive downtown and manage to find a place that you can park for free – without fear of being towed or ticketed – is always a good thing.

Ah, finding free parking in the city on a busy night… now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

– Aaron P. Taylor

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